Business | WTF

Cannabis Patient WWE Body Slammed After Requesting Organic

WWE Body slammed

IRVINE—Witnesses in the lobby of The Green Scorpion medical marijuana dispensary were shocked and horrified by the WWE body slammed patient limping from the waiting room last night. Sara Mitchell from Long Beach relates, “We could hear shouting between two men coming from inside, then there was this loud thud, and someone yelled, ‘There’s your organic budder, bitch!'” Moments later, out limped 24-year-old Matt Cupis, a new patient of the Scorpion, holding his neck and broken glasses. Behind him stood the body slamming budtender, puffing furiously on a vape with a menacing look on his face like, “I just fucked up…” When asked to explain what happened to provoke the unmerited attack, Cupis said he was simply asking if their concentrates were organic or not. “Next thing you know, the guy has me by the throat, throws me down, and stomps on my glasses.” When asked for comment, dispensary spokesman Shane Gandy stated, “At no time did any employee of our dispensary make physical contact with Mr. Cupis, until Mr. Cupis grabbed our employee’s arm first, by his thick wrist, and dragged him over the counter, requiring our employee to then act to defend himself.” When reminded that a security camera was recording the entire incident, Gandy, briskly heading for the exit, said, “Oooookay…never mind!”

-By Rocco D’Eugenio