Clownspotting: New ‘Kreepy Klown Kush’ All the Rage

creepy clown

ATLANTA—As if the political landscape wasn’t enough of a 24-hour, loon-ridden news cycle of clowns, “USA Today” is reporting that sightings of actual “lurking clowns have persisted for several months, with alleged findings in 37 states and counting across the nation.”

We’re here to alert the good citizens of those remaining 13 states who have not experienced clownspotting that there is still some hope to see creepy or otherwise disturbing, dopey, and/or menacing clowns.

The new cannabis strain Creepy Clown Cush – a cross between Trainwreck and Bearded Lady – packs such a powerful rubber-chicken wallop that users immediately report seeing individuals wearing huge floppy shoes and red horn noses.

Perry Pemberton, 54, a self-reported medium-to-heavy user of cannabis, says he actually talked with “Snacks the Clown” in his living room yesterday after rolling a rather heavy one of Creepy Clown Cush.

There you have it, smokers.