SCIENCE/TECH

Hawaiians Create Memory Thumping Marijuana Strain

Hawaiians

LAHAINA—Dr. Alani Pualani and Eddie Hepualaha’ole have lived on the idyllic island of Maui their entire lives. Growers of some of the best pakalolo in the island chain, the two kama’aina are not your typical farmers. Dr. Pualani is a professor of microbiology and plant ecology, and Hepualaha’ole is the remarkable cultivator mind behind the hybrid sensation Maui Kapowie. The two say they’ve recently created a hybrid cannabis varietal that amplifies memory to astounding new levels. Called “Demystify Haze,” the strain is reportedly taking people back in time, essentially a portal to years most have long since forgotten.

Dr. Pualani explains how they didn’t expect smoking the herb would “actually improve your memory,” he says, “We just wanted an uplifting sativa that left your mind clear, functioning, and euphoric. You know, the perfect bud for a day at the kahakai or hiking in the Ulu La’au.”

Marty Kanunu, a local from Paia Town, says he purchased an ounce of Demystify Haze from his nearby collective, and gushes, “Bruddah, I love it! I just choked some down by the kahawai, and I was like – oh shit, wait… I just remember where I leave my retainer in 6th grade. Lemme go see if it’s still there. I’ll be right back.”

Grower Hepualaha’ole explains that Demystify is a cross between a high-vigor Brainstorm Haze and his renown Maui Kapowie, “It’s absolutely amazing what this bud can do,” he says, “it’s not just that you’ll never forget your keys ever again or that you’ll be able to remember the names of everyone you ever met – no, it takes you back, opens doors in your brain you forgot you even had.”

For some, the memories might take you way back, in some cases on a Willy Wonky thrill ride all the way to the womb, and maybe even beyond.

“I used to have the worst memory,” says Hepualaha’ole, casually puffing on some Demystify. “Pualani was always busting my olos about how I’d misplace lab notes or forget my surf wax or to calibrate the mass spectrometry system. But after smoking a bit of Demystify, shit, I can remember things from when I was a little keiki like it was yesterday… oh, I think I just remember right now how I was once a Humuhumunukunukuapua’a swimming in the beautiful reef… Yeah, that was a really good life now that I think about it.”