NEWS FLASH: Cannabis… It’s Apparently Very Fun


KAUAI—A report conducted in Waimea by the Polynesian Office of Titration has shown that marijuana is extremely enjoyable. Researchers polled 37 people in and around Waimea Town and all signs point to use of the plant producing bouts of so-called “side splitting laughter” and “uncontrollable smiling.” Maureen Akamu, a native of Hawaii, confirmed that even as she answered pollster questions she was “having a blast and blazed to the nines.” At press time, POT was right on, brah.