Cannabis | News

Guy Sure He’s Not Getting Stoned

Perplexed man

COOPERSTOWN, New York—Newbie pot smoker Mitch Halprin, 29, was out with friends Wednesday night and reported not feeling anything from the marijuana joint being passed around the circle. Halprin’s buddy Jake, present at the time, said Halprin kept repeating, “I’m not getting any,” though plumes of smoke emitted from his mouth and nostrils. “I don’t think I’m getting any. Are you guys feeling it? Is anybody stoned?” asked Halprin five times before Jake told him he was probably stoned and just didn’t realize it. To illustrate his point, Jake pointed to a bright star in the midnight sky and told Halprin that the star no longer existed and because it was billions of miles away its demise hadn’t registered yet with Earthlings. At press time, Halprin was still gazing at the star.