KANSAS CITY—At the first stop of a multi-city promotional tour this morning, Hallmark Greeting Cards CEO Hank Nowacki delivered a bombshell message from the corporate offices. Both local and national media were present for the announcement of a fresh product line the company looks to launch this month. Intended to attract a new generation of card buyers, Hallmark will be designing greeting cards “specifically for the pot smoker in your life called Green Leaves.”
“Hallmark has been originating holidays since the 1920s, and we strive to continue with that excellence,” says Nowacki. “Valentine’s Day? That was us. Mother’s Day? Yup, us too.”
The card maker is ready to “provide support” to the billion-dollar cannabis industry, and to that end is releasing their line of cards made from 100% industrial hemp using natural food dyes. But the real draw, he says, are the new holidays.
“We plan to capitalize on some of the established occasions that are already huge on the cannabis calendar, like April 20th, or ‘420,’ and July 10th for the ‘710’ oil concentrate crowd.” But Nowacki adds that Hallmark also plans to include some new dates to the greeting card calendar. “These are completely of our own creation,” he notes, “For example, we’re rolling out a card to celebrate Harvest Moon Day. It’s an old-timey holiday with a modern-day twist, intended to let you show appreciation to the outdoor pot grower… you know, just show how much you appreciate all they do.”
And more ambitiously, Hallmark looks to rebrand the calamitous day after Thanksgiving known as Black Friday to “High Friday,” Nowacki explains, “I mean, what’s more fun, fighting crowds at a mall or sitting down to a nice fat bowl of stinky herb?”
Now you can hang with your smoking buddies and show them how glad you are to be hitting dabs and not circling a parking lot for hours on end. If successful, Hallmark plans to expand the Green Leaves line to celebrate an assortment of other established occasions as holidays and events become greener with the continued march of U.S. legalization.
“Birthdays, weddings, sympathy cards – we’ll have a cannabis card version available for all the significant times in our lives,” says Nowacki. “And this Christmas, be on the lookout for Hallmark’s collector edition Stoned Santa, as well as our Sky High Reindeer line. I believe it’s going be a very green holiday season this year.”