MENLO PARK—It finally happened: Facebook sells to Amazon for the price of a California weed dispensary, as wunderkind Mark Zuckerberg succumbs to cannabis fever. Zuckerberg said he wanted to get out of the social media game and into something a bit more comfortable.
Of his decision to sell Facebook to Amazon, Zuckerberg said, “Everyone’s doing it, and I’ve always idolized Cheech and Chong. I figured owning a weed shop would be a great way to give back to the community. Also, I want a pet duck.”
Zuckerberg’s executive team, after initially laughing their asses off, have now begun crying piteously as the billionaire continues to negotiate the deal with Amazon’s Jeff Bezos. Bezos seems delighted with the unexpected acquisition, though he’s pretty busy right now acquiring health foods giant Whole Foods. “It’s amazing how things come together if you’re just nice to other people in the world,” Bezos said. “Giving Mark four of my high-potency, organic cannabis brownies an hour before our business meeting was one of the best things I’ve ever done.”
Zuckerberg reportedly plans to build his weed shop in what he calls “The true home of my heart,” or Silicon Valley. Look for Zuckerberg’s new weed dispensary, “Potbook,” to open next spring.
-By Honey McGrew