Milk of Magnesia Stock Upset Over Cannabis Legalization

Cannabis Legalization

LEVERKUSEN—Drugmaker Bayer’s stock plummeted this week after a study coinciding with the runaway success of cannabis legalization nationwide. Research seems to imply that cannabis is ten times more effective at curing common digestive issues than the company’s magnesia product. A popular palliative since 1873, Phillips’ Milk of Magnesia has for decades been a staple in medicine cabinets from Perth to Peoria, yet contains little more than “hydrate of magnesia and water.”

cannabisUpon hearing the news, celebrated Harvard professor and cannabis advocate Dr. Lester Grinspoon leaned back in his chair and said, “I could have told you that.”

-By Hugh Manginello