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Cannabis Bus Tour Makes Wrong Turn Into Kansas, 79 Arrested

Cannabis Bus Tours

KANORADO, Kansas—Mile High Tours in Denver has built a solid business around cannabis-themed tours ever since Colorado legalized marijuana in 2012, effectively opening the floodgates for weed tourism in the state. Offering guided tours to residents as well as visitors, so-called “cannabus” trips range in length from a couple of hours to a full weekend and have cropped up all across the Rocky Mountain pot paradise.

Not unlike directed tours through wine country, excursions include a number of stops at unique cannabis dispensaries, boutique pot cultivation sites, and a few waterpipe, glass blowing studios – all from the comfort of a well-appointed charter bus where indulgence in the leaf is not only tolerated but actually encouraged. Cannabis connoisseurs and newbs alike have enjoyed the heady trips and many are return customers on their third or fourth ride through the marijuana mecca. But this week – after an unfortunate lapse in attention by one of its tour bus drivers – a few might be reconsidering future excursions.

“The trip started off great,” says Marquis Jones, visiting from Phoenix. “This was my fourth trip with the tour company, and each tour has been better than the last… that is, until this particular one.”

Having just been released from the Kansas State Police booking area in the state-line town of Kanorado, Jones describes how he and a bus load of 78 fellow bud partiers found themselves cuffed and stuffed at the Kansas-Colorado border. This, after a new bus driver accidentally drove the bus east onto Interstate 70 instead of west.

“We ended up crossing into motherloving Kansas! Talk about a total buzz kill,” says Jones. “They took all of our weed – I mean all of it! The cops started a fire in a trash barrel at the compound we were locked up in over night – like cattle, mind you – and they threw all of our bud, at least two pounds combined of the best cannabis money can buy, right into the flames and made us watch it go up in smoke.”

Jones describes how sheriffs gleefully pranced around smashing beautiful, virgin glass pieces, blown by some of the best glassmakers in the West. New bongs and dab rigs, many worth hundreds of dollars, were smashed against brick walls as cannabis enthusiasts cringed in horror.

“We’re talking about illegal transit of a controlled substance here,” remarked Captain Buford T. Pusser of the Kansas Highway Patrol to the KCTV5 morning news team. “Some of these sissies were crying about their water hookahs being confiscated and demolished – what about our youth being destroyed by this malevolent drug plant?”

Not the first case of local state troopers stopping and harassing people in transit from Colorado into Kansas who are believed to be under suspicion of cannabis possession, which is a felony in Kansas. This is, however, the first detainment and arrest of a bus load of people all for the same charges, all at the same time.

“We have every road, highway, bridge, and trail from Colorado into Kansas covered,” said Pusser. “We’ve nailed dozens of pot head criminals coming into our state from over there with their trunks full of contraband. This bust was an easy one though,” continued Pusser. “The tour bus had a cloud of smoke pouring out of it, not to mention the big green pot leaves painted on the sides. And you could hear all the passengers singin’ ‘Tiny Dancer’ at the top of their lungs.”

“I tell my troopers every morning that for every degenerate reefer-related arrest you make, I will personally pay you $100 a head,” said Pusser. “Well, it looks like after this one I’m gonna need to work more overtime to pay those good ole boys for this busload of pot fiends – but it’s worth every penny!”

A press release by Mile High Tours this morning apologizes for the inconvenience to passengers who were detained. Founder Colin Green said in the note, “We plan to not only replace all the confiscated cannabis and destroyed property from the tour group, but also cover all of their legal fees. This might bankrupt us, but it’s the right thing to do,” Green lamented. “I feel terrible for the driver, too, he’s a great guy. He’s never used cannabis once his entire life. He told me he just got caught up in the fun, singing Elton John tunes with all the stoned passengers and must’ve stopped paying attention to where the hell he was going.”

In response to the situation, the Colorado Department of Transportation has agreed to add new signage to the roads and highways leading out of Colorado into Kansas. The proposed plan will see several brightly colored, flashing, billboard-size signs on the exit routes east that read: “No Smoking Zone Ahead.”

-By Rocco D’Eugenio


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