jorge cervantes

WWJD: What Would Jorge Do?

THE EMERALD TRIANGLE—There comes a time in every cannabis grower’s life when he or she wonders if they’re on the right path. Many . . . Here
burn one

Trump and Kim Jong Un to Sit Down and Burn One

38th PARALLEL NORTH—The two leaders (one dear and one not-so-much) are poised to discuss the downsides of nuclear war… but only after . . . Here
Chicken Soup

DEA Designates Chicken Noodle Soup Sched 1 Narcotic

WASHINGTON D.C.—Attention all you flu and cold sufferers, put down the soup spoon and step away from the stove. In an effort to . . . Here
pepper spray

Marijuana Flavored Pepper Spray, The One Hitter, All the Rage

BERKELEY—The city made famous for providing the nation with fiery protests since the 1960s is now allegedly the proud producer of the . . . Here
weed DUI

LAPD Tests New Weed DUI Device: ‘The Donut 5000’

BOYLE HEIGHTS—The Los Angeles Police Department this week unveiled a new technology that’s leading to a flood of weed DUI arrests for . . . Here
Ed Rosenthal

Pope Francis Proclaims Ed Rosenthal A Living Saint

VATICAN CITY—Already recognized as the “Guru of Ganja,” author Ed Rosenthal has just been canonized by the Catholic Church and Pope . . . Here
Mars Colonization

Marijuana Grow Room Considered For 1st Mars Colonization Mission

THE RED PLANET—Scientists are considering a request by several “citizen-astronauts” (who have been selected for the first Mars . . . Here
Wisemen stoned

Evidence Suggests 3 Wisemen Were Stoned Off Their Asses

BETHLEHEM—A recently translated ancient scroll found buried deep in a cave near the Sea of Galilee has created a firestorm among . . . Here

Green Xmas: Demand Grows for Cannabis Christmas Trees

EUGENE—The days of bringing home a shapely Douglas fir or Norway spruce to serve as your Christmas tree may be coming to an end, in . . . Here
Palm reading

Study: Palm Reading Appears 99% More Accurate After Dabbing

BOULDER—A study conducted by the Pew Research Center has found that people who dab ultra-rich cannabis concentrates just prior to palm . . . Here
Marriage Counseling

Couple Says Cannabis More Effective Than Marriage Counseling

SARATOGA—After 12 long years of fruitless marriage counseling, Anne and Vic Herrera said they’ve finally reconnected . . . Here
Cannabis Legalization

Milk of Magnesia Stock Upset Over Cannabis Legalization

LEVERKUSEN—Drugmaker Bayer’s stock plummeted this week after a study coinciding with the runaway success of cannabis legalization . . . Here
James Franco

James Franco: ‘I’ve Never Smoked Weed’

BROOKLYN—In a surprising turn of events, actor and sometimes poet James Franco revealed in an interview today that after decades of . . . Here
Hemp Merkins

Hemp Merkins: Enviro-Bush Forward on NYC Catwalks

NEW YORK—For centuries men and women have employed the magic of the merkin for a wide range of reasons. Sometimes for cover, others for . . . Here
Gorilla Glue

Gorilla Glue Slaps ‘Reverse Class-Action’ Suit on 3 Million GG#4 Cultivators

CINCINNATI—“Just stop it,” says Gorilla Glue spokesman Nathan Mowdry from the company’s Cincinnati headquarters overlooking the Ohio . . . Here
Grandaddy Purple

Grandaddy Underpants Corp Sues the Makers of Grandaddy Purple

SARASOTA—The iconic marijuana strain Grandaddy Purple, also known classically as “Ken’s GDP,” is under fire this week for . . . Here

FEMA Adds Primo Weed to Essential Disaster Relief Items

NEW ORLEANS—On the 12th anniversary of Hurricane Katrina, FEMA Director Jorge Sans reportedly seized the opportunity to make a . . . Here
Naked and Afraid

Naked and Afraid (and Definitely High)

MANAGUA—Tragic news out of Central America today as producers of the popular Discovery Channel reality show “Naked and Afraid” were . . . Here
dab nail

‘Dab Nail Burn Scar’ Competition Heats Up

ECHO PARK—This weekend Los Angeles is set to host the crème de la crème of dabbing competitions, and someone in the city will walk away . . . Here

Another Marijuana Edible Raid, Feds Seize Family of Weiner Dogs

IMPERIAL COUNTY — In a stultifying show of force, Federal Marshals in Brawley, California used battering rams, pepper spray, and flash . . . Here